Because we moved around a fair bit, home for us was just a few possessions. Books, clothes, curios, photo albums, that kind of ephemeral thing. About the only things of permanence was my mother's kitchen and the large wooden boxes painted Army green and stamped with my father's name and address that we used for packing. These doubled as furniture so they moved with us everywhere. As a result, I am far more careful with the small things that make up my life than say furniture or white goods that I see as entirely expendable.
My photo albums haven't travelled with me for a long time. They are at my father's place in Mumbai and every time I am home I browse through them and digitise them if required. Of late, more than a few are falling apart which makes me melancholic but also reminds me that the value of photographs goes this far and no further. Looking at them gives me pleasure, not just for the nostalgia of The Way We Were but because each time there is a difference in the way I perceive them.
The exception to photographs I keep is those of people I have gone out with. When I was young, the intensity of a relationship was such that in the aftermath a small bonfire of letters and photographs was cathartic. It is not that one feels less intensely as one grows older, it is merely that photographs of happy coupledom are merely that, photographs. Plus your taste for the dramatic decreases with age :). So I was a little surprised to find a small stash of photographs dating back to the early 90s of my then boyfriend (a term I dislike but let's stay with it) that had remained behind. Partly I think because this was a time when I was learning to use a camera and I kept the whole lot of my first attempts. R had an excellent camera, in retrospect it was more than excellent given that my parents couldn't afford even an instant camera and they were not alone in this. To his credit - and he was utterly sweet like that - not only did he teach me the basics but he let me play around with it quite a bit. A number of IIT photographs I have are taken on his camera. I guess I kept these pics for the way they are composed with identical backgrounds but are not really "couple" photographs. In a sense they evoke the mood of the time rather than existing merely as a testament of a romantic relationship. Almost I think like a Frankie magazine project.
This also reminds me that we had possibly the best kept student rooms in the history of student life:)
Hi ,revisiting this blog, am struck by the beauty of some photographs , mainly your mother's . She was truly graceful.
ReplyDeleteAt the sometime , when you put your old beloved's pictures for everyone to see, don't you fear jeopardising their present lives, or affecting them in any way? Pardon my inquisitiveness as I have myself faced such breach of privacy.
Thank you. Yes my mother was v elegant, people still remember the way she was.
ReplyDeleteI do worry abt privacy/consent. But I rarely post names or details or intimate pics. Plus a lot of posts are not a discussion of the people in the pic per se but about my thoughts - this post for e.g. is really about old photographs, being young and what it means.
A lot of my personal posts are also intended for people I am close to and who read the blog. So sometimes I am free with my personal history even though it principally is revealing about myself more than any one else.